When the pages of a book flutter closed, the story lingers, etching itself into the fabric of our beings. Such is the essence of our latest chat with Ethan, a revered storyteller and University of Delaware educator, whose novels "A Little Hope" and "The Quiet Life" tenderly sketch the intricate dance of life's trials and the resilience of the human spirit. Our conversation with Ethan stretches beyond the written word, touching on the raw inspiration drawn from personal heartache—how the loss of a loved one can bleed into the pages of fiction, offering solace and understanding to those who find their own stories reflected in his characters.
Objects hold the weight of memories, and as Ethan reads from "A Quiet Life," we're enveloped in the poignant symbol of a towel, a relic of love and loss. This moment opens a window into the psychology of attachment, guiding us through the fabric of our sentimental ties to the material world. Ethan's dual mastery of English and psychology shines a light on these connections, unearthing the deeper truths hidden in the everyday and leaving us to ponder the relics of our lives that we cling to for comfort and remembrance.
Much like any passion, writing demands a delicate balance with life's ceaseless rhythm. Ethan's insights on finding time for creativity amid the bustle stir a chord within us, nudging aspiring writers to embrace discipline and cherish the act of storytelling as a bridge to legacy.
Join us for a heartening journey through literature's power to connect and heal, as we unwrap the stories of one author's devotion to the craft amidst the tender complexities of life.
When the pages of a book flutter closed, the story lingers, etching itself into the fabric of our beings. Such is the essence of our latest chat with Ethan, a revered storyteller and University of Delaware educator, whose novels "A Little Hope" and "The Quiet Life" tenderly sketch the intricate dance of life's trials and the resilience of the human spirit. Our conversation with Ethan stretches beyond the written word, touching on the raw inspiration drawn from personal heartache—how the loss of a loved one can bleed into the pages of fiction, offering solace and understanding to those who find their own stories reflected in his characters.
Objects hold the weight of memories, and as Ethan reads from "A Quiet Life," we're enveloped in the poignant symbol of a towel, a relic of love and loss. This moment opens a window into the psychology of attachment, guiding us through the fabric of our sentimental ties to the material world. Ethan's dual mastery of English and psychology shines a light on these connections, unearthing the deeper truths hidden in the everyday and leaving us to ponder the relics of our lives that we cling to for comfort and remembrance.
Much like any passion, writing demands a delicate balance with life's ceaseless rhythm. Ethan's insights on finding time for creativity amid the bustle stir a chord within us, nudging aspiring writers to embrace discipline and cherish the act of storytelling as a bridge to legacy.
Join us for a heartening journey through literature's power to connect and heal, as we unwrap the stories of one author's devotion to the craft amidst the tender complexities of life.
Good evening everybody. I'm very happy to see all of you here and I'm very happy that Ethan was able to make it. He has a very busy schedule. He made a big impression on me and I really liked his book, and so I'm very happy that he's now able to come here and talk with us about his first two books. And he has a third book coming out that I will let him talk about in a little bit. Book coming out that I will let him talk about in a little bit. Ethan is an English teacher and a psychology teacher at University of Delaware. If I do it wrong, you let me know. Ethan, you're good so far.
G van Londen:
He also teaches writing workshops, so if any of you would like to get into writing. Ethan is your man and in his little free time, besides raising his family and I imagine him walking on the beach he writes books. And based on the topics you would think that these are very heavy, heavy on your heart type of books. But in a very strange way, probably because of his background in English and psychology, his books are actually very validating and inspiring and empowering at least that's what they did for me and I like that they're small chapters, so that all of us who may have a little chemo brain or brain fog can read a chapter at a time. And his first book that he wrote and I also have to double check that I don't mess it up His first book is called A Little Hope and that was selected by Jenna Reed Klopp as a bonus selection, and that's how I first learned about Ethan. And then his second book came out, which is called the Quiet Life. So A Little Hope is a book about a newly diagnosed multiple myeloma patient and the impact of that on a very small community, with intersecting storylines and characters. And the second book, a Quiet Life, is also about intersecting characters in a relatively small community, but this time. Cancer plays a role in the book as well, but now, as a caregiver, there is a widow of a person who died from cancer who is struggling to find meaning and grieving and moving on, and it makes it hard for him. He's paralyzed for a bit and has a hard time making decisions and moving on, and how it's important to connect with others to allow you to heal from the past. And so both these books have a theme related to cancer.
G van Londen:
And then I have a few questions for Ethan. But I thought let's see how the group has questions, because obviously your questions are more important than mine. But if you need some more time to think, I can ask my questions first. But I wanted to give also first, while you're thinking about your questions, a chance for Ethan to say something about your two books. And so my question for you, to get things started, is how did you come up with these two books, the storyline, and in particular, why although why is maybe not the right question but how did you end up including the cancer theme in there? If that's how I should ask the question, I know that might possibly become a little bit of a personal question and if you you don't want to answer, I understand.
Ethan Joella:
Well, thank you so much to Cancer Bridges and Jen, and especially Dr Van Londen for inviting me to this. It was such a pleasure when I got to meet you at the Pittsburgh bookstore. Thank you all for coming tonight and for being here. I think what always usually happens is to start a book and to get an idea for a book. It starts out as like a little fleck of something, a little germ that doesn't kind of go away, that just kind of stays with me for a while. So, with a little hope, I was really interested in writing a book about a community in a small town. But I had no idea what that small town looked like. So I kind of took the the E. L. Doctorow headlights approach that he said it's okay when you're writing if you can only see as far as the headlights go, and so that's that's what I took. I kind of took it chapter by chapter because it follows about a dozen or so characters. So I just tried to take it person by person and see where they left off Once I got to the end of their chapter. Okay, where does that radiate to who did I mention? Who can I bring into the book? And a little hope.
Ethan Joella:
I started writing a few months after we had lost my mother-in-law to leukemia. So I think that absolutely. I mean I wasn't sitting down and trying to write a book that dealt with a terminal disease, but I think watching my mother-in-law go through that just impacted the way I viewed life so much, because not just the mourning and the loss, but I think, the time when you're going through all of that and how do you best support somebody and how do you look at life differently and how does it change things. So I think it's no coincidence that my first chapter starts with a man who's dealing with multiple myeloma, and it was a little bit different from leukemia. But I wanted to have something that's very difficult. But I wanted to think about new ways that you look at something in both positive and negative ways, and especially for my character in this book, he's a go-getter who's always been kind of a Captain America type guy who's always been the first person chosen at the interview and how do you do that when you're powerless? What are the ways that you respond? And that was kind of the question that started A Little Hope, and then, with A Quiet Life, I was still I think I was finishing editing a little hope and I knew I was kind of on the prowl for something new to write about. That would just kind of stay with me for a while.
Ethan Joella:
And my wife and I were walking on the boardwalk. You said, do you imagine me walking on the beach? So it's not too far off. We were walking on the. We were walking on the boardwalk one day and there were a group of elderly gentlemen sitting around talking. We see this kind of group of them a lot.
Ethan Joella:
And I heard the one man say I'm making my trip to Florida this year for the first time without my wife. And that just, and I knew right away, I thought, well, that when I'm ready for the new book, that's what's going to be what I write about, cause that's what my grandparents did. They always, they always wintered in South Carolina. My wife's grandparents always wintered in Florida. And I thought, what do you do? Do you? Do you still go without them? Do you decide to cancel the trip? So that was what led me to Quiet Life and that kind of radiated out too, because I brought in some other characters who were also going through some trying things. But yeah, sometimes you're just out listening and you get the idea and it doesn't leave you alone. And then you know that's what you want to pursue.
G van Londen:
Thank you. Thank you, ethan, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you, I wanted to see with the group, but this is very informal. Those of you who know me, I'm a little scatterhead and my new glasses correlate with that, and so if you have questions, just ask, and if not, we can sit here silently for a little bit until something bubbles up or I can ask a question. I see we have a question in the audience. The question is twofold. One is a comment where somebody compliments you on the story. They love how the characters intersect and everybody comes together. Secondly, the general question for the author how do you feel about the fact that you spent so many weeks, months, years writing a book?
Ethan Joella:
I think about that a lot actually it's the same as cooking a meal, right, you cook for like a long time yeah yeah, and I I do think that about that a lot, especially in the instagram community, when there are bloggers and people will say, I, I can't wait for your next book, I can't wait for your next book. And then they get it and they're finished with it in four hours or six hours or something and I think, wow, that's, and you do. Sometimes it does feel like, wow, that's really a commodity and you have to keep up with the. It's like I love Lucy with the chocolates on the conveyor belt that you just can't don't feel like you can keep up fast enough.
Ethan Joella:
But I think I've heard a lot of people that will say it's a book I want to keep and I want to go back and save her pages and that, just as a writer and a teacher and somebody that appreciates words, that means a lot to me. Well, thank you and that and you know what. But that in and of itself is the gift right there. I think sometimes, once the book goes out there, it's not my book anymore. It's yours to do whatever you want with it. So if you read it slowly, if you read it quickly, it's all gratifying to me.
G van Londen:
But it's also very interesting that each of us experience a book in our own way, depending on what we're ready to hear or feel or read at that moment. And if you reread it, it may pick up completely different things than you did before. And one of the advantages of reading maybe more so than eating a meal is that you remember.
G van Londen:
If a book has an impact, it changes you and you carry that change with you through your life, um, in particular, if it hits you at the right time and I I think that's yes you finish it very quickly, but it doesn't mean the book is gone. It's just now, in here, a part of you. It morphs you, it evolves you, it lifts you up to a different level. I definitely think so, Ethan a few people in the audience have asked if you potentially could read some of your favorite parts, because they have not read the book yet. They just would like to get a foretaste. Sure, yeah?
Ethan Joella:
I could. You know what? Let me just read the first page of it. I always try not to go overboard with reading because that can be dead and I know as a teacher about keeping someone's attention span. So I'll just read the first page of a quiet life. It's just a few paragraphs and I think it sets kind of sets the idea for the book pretty well. I mean, I should preface this by saying so.
Ethan Joella:
I had my idea for the book and I I knew what I wanted to write about. I knew I wanted to write about this guy who always wintered somewhere with his wife and didn't know if he was going to make the trip without her or not. But I couldn't find my way into the book, because sometimes you need that entrance in. And one of my friends who's a writer had us over one day for kind of a writing retreat in her house and she had, and we exchanged prompts. We said let's, let's write about this for a little bit, let's write about this, and one of the prompts was a towel. And all of a sudden the book came to me and I thought about well, you'll see, so that was this prompt. It was really lucky that I showed it up that day because that was my way into the book.
Ethan Joella:
When Chuck Ayres thinks about Cat, he thinks about the faded yellow and white striped towel that lately he has been wearing around his neck like a wrestler on his way to a match. That damn towel. She used it for every bath, the towel hanging over the linen closet door to dry afterward, the smell of her pink soap. As he walked by and when they drove those hundreds of miles to Hilton Head every winter, she took the towel along and it became her beach towel. Even as she got older, there was something alluring about the way she draped that towel around her body or shook it out over one of the lounge chairs at the pool in South Carolina.
Ethan Joella:
What can he do with this towel now? This towel he should have buried with her, this towel that he sleeps with some nights, this towel that hangs there, that stays wherever he leaves it. He should fold it and put it into a box on a high shelf in the closet with the word towel written on it, so he never forgets, so he never opens it again, so he never remembers her holding the towel over her arm. So naive, so unaware that the towel would outlast her, that she'd never have a chance to donate it, to tear it into clean rag. He used it to protect something in the attic an antique lamp, an old mirror. He is glad for a second it didn't come to that that she got to use the towel fully and without stop and that is the first thing in forever he has been glad.
G van Londen:
Yeah, that is a very calm way of writing and really thinking about things, standing still and taking the time to think things through. Several concepts in the book are psychological based, which is probably because Ethan is both an English and a psychology professor, and the towel is sort of a transitional object along the lines of what little children they like to walk around with their blankie or, you know, a stuffed lovey. It's sort of a similar thing. Adults have that too. We also have our favorite objects or, in this case, objects related to somebody who we've lost. Ethan, would you like without giving it all away, but would you like to maybe explain a little bit about how you've tried to interweave some psychological pearls of wisdom in the book as well, because I found several. I won't give them away, but I liked how you did that. It's very, very well done. It's educational also.
Ethan Joella:
Thank you and I get asked that a lot because I teach psychology. I only have my master's in psychology. I have my doctorate is in something else international relations, so a little bit different. So I get asked that a lot else. International relations, so a little bit different. So I get asked that a lot.
Ethan Joella:
I don't think I do anything with psychology that most writers, that other writers, don't do. I think that's what you do. You look for those connections and you look for the human truths and you also look for insight. You look for, okay, we're all seeing the same thing, but I'm going to try to show you an angle to it that we haven't thought of before and that does not often come easily. So you have to keep mining at it. But I'm a big believer.
Ethan Joella:
I like objects. I love going to thrift stores somebody's jacket that they donated. Or if you're at somebody's house and they have a special bowl that they only put out at the holidays, I'm obsessed with things like that. I like paying attention to things like that. If you're at a restaurant, like the diner, with a little jukebox at the table, I'm just really interested in objects and the human connections we make to them, and I think sometimes you see by what objects are important to people, especially even when they're traveling, like at the airport, what they choose to take with them, I think you can see a lot about their personality.
Ethan Joella:
So a character like Chuck who's wearing that towel around his neck when he's alone at the house you can see he's just carrying that loss there and the towel just kind of symbolizes her, how just versatile she was and how just dreamy their time in South Carolina was. So I think I think you can do a lot when you mine something that way. It could be the littlest thing, it could be a sugar bowl or something like, or if somebody's plant that they take care of. But I think you can. You look for those connections that way. So you, yeah, all the time in my writing you find little objects like that that come up I think you're not giving yourself enough credit, but I'll stop pounding you.
G van Londen:
There's some techniques in there too, but I really thought it's well written, like the towel around the neck, in terms of he wishes that his wife could still jump around his neck. It's just really really well written, very soothing, very respectful of the process. But maybe I should stop talking for a second now and see if anybody else has something to ask or to say or in general. You can ask Ethan, everything within reason.
Ethan Joella:
Your questions are fantastic. I love them.
G van Londen:
Thank you, ethan. Okay, ethan, here's another question. A few people are describing different ways they got your book, whether it's a spoken or written version.
Ethan Joella:
They were wondering what is your recommendation to get your books from? Thank you there's also. You talked about Audible. There's also. It's called Libro FM. Has anybody used that? You could pick your local and independent bookstore that instead of Audible, where it just goes to Amazon or something, you could pick a local bookstore that the money goes to them. I'm not sure how it does that, but you can get audiobooks that way. It's called Libro. fm.
Ethan Joella:
I just started using that and people view that really favorably, I guess. I mean, yeah, I'm a big fan of indie bookstores and we have such a great one in our town here and I just saw in the chat somebody said about picking it for the book club. Thank you so much.
G van Londen:
That would be great. I guess one of the observations to make in both books, but in particular in the second book, I think, is that everybody has their own set of problems. We all have a backpack that's filled with stuff. We we sometimes are not aware of that, but we all have our fair share of problems. So the thing we have in common here is that we're all cancer survivors, but even out there in the world there's a lot of people who have problems that we may not always carry on our sleeves, and it's interesting in this book how Ethan describes how we're all having problems and that affects how we present ourselves to the world is a little grumpy, and that is, you know, sometimes it's our personality, but sometimes that's just driven by something else and I I think he he wrote it very well in terms of how people over the course of the story dealt with their issues, but in particular, how things.
G van Londen:
Things went faster if they didn't isolate themselves, if they shared a story and expressed it to others, so that A it will help healing from whatever, in particular, traumatic experiences you may have had, because talking about and expressing it to others who actually listen and care about it is a big part of the healing.
G van Londen:
Something becomes traumatic if you don't have somebody or some people to talk to to express it and feel comforted. The other part is logistic help. Sometimes you really need other people to help you logistically and that might be a very small thing for another person to do, but a big favor to the person who needs it. And I think that this book does a very good job in describing the importance of a community and whether it's a physical community in a town or, as we have here, a virtual community where we're one chat or one phone call away from each other, it's very important to stick together. It's very easy to feel embarrassed, ashamed or stigmatized and hide in a corner and feel very alone. But we all have very similar problems, never the same because we all put our own footprint on it and we all need to be held in our own way.
Ethan Joella:
But if you find your community, hopefully you will find a lot of empathy of people who understand sort of what it means to stand in in your shoes, if that makes sense well, and if I, if I could add Chuck, the character in the book who lost his wife, Cat, that's one of her legacies is that she talks about being somebody's cardinal, that you should show up for people, because she said the cardinals show up in the winter when the other birds have left, and I don't really even know if it's scientifically true or not, but it's true enough. My wife's family always believed that cardinals were angels, they were coming, somebody was visiting, and I always thought that was really sweet and I think that is so. One of the other characters had Chuck's wife for a teacher and she remembers Cat saying that to be somebody's cardinal and it lends her to to kind of look at beyond her own pain and to try to help some other people. And that's that's. I think one of my message of the books is just kind of whenever we can in small ways, to show up for one another, because sometimes, sometimes, the help comes from where you least expect it. Sometimes it's not the people closest to you, your parents or your family members or your kids. Sometimes it's somebody really unexpected that you never thought, who can show you something different, who could expose you to something or could bring some different light into your life. So yeah, I think what you're saying there is so important to not lose that hope and to not give up.
Ethan Joella:
There's definitely a big role for animals in the book too. I've always had pets, so my characters always have pets. Our cat just walked by before and I was waiting for her to make her presence known to the group. I just have one question how do you have time for everything that you do? I mean, it sounds like you've got a pretty full dance card there. They're grown now, they're 15 and 19. Not grown they're more grown now than when they were little.
Ethan Joella:
But when you have that hobby and that passion and you want something to come from that, you have to put time into it, even when you have no time to give. So even sometimes, if I would be on my commute to teaching and I would voice the text into my phone for 20 minutes, just some ideas Any progress is progress. So I'm to the point where I feel guilty if I don't make some type of progress toward writing every day. Even if it's only 15 minutes, but sometimes an hour or so, I don't think I could write full-time because I always wrote in these small windows and I think it worked that way for me, because a lot of people will say will you stop teaching now, with your books out and stuff, will you just focus on your writing? But I don't know what that life would look like for me to only have all day to write.
Ethan Joella:
I think being out, being on the ground and being around young people, especially in hearing people talk, it's it's just has always been good for my writing and being with my family. So I it my writing worked that way, just in small increments, and I mean there are some days where, especially with grad school, when the kids were really young, I just could never get to my writing and you just have to kind of dust yourself off and forgive yourself and say, okay, well, maybe try again next week, Maybe try again next week. And you do the best you can, and sometimes, though, you're onto something and you're passionate about it and you care, and it makes you find time for it and keep going back to it. We always have more time than we think we do, even the days For me I feel like I never have enough time, but then I get the. I don't know if anyone gets their weekly screen time reports from their phones. Does anybody that is such an eye opener? Sometimes It'll say you average three hours or five hours and I think, well, I could be exercising, I could be doing all these different things during that three or five hours. So, yeah, it's just always a negotiation average.
Ethan Joella:
Well, that's nice, so you make a practice of it. It's just definitely. Well, that's nice, so you make a practice of it. It's just definitely, it's a. It's just one of the things you do each day. Yeah, and really it's one of those things that can easily disappear if you, if you get used to not to doing it. There's really like no big openings where you say, all right, it's just this hour staring at me, I need to be writing. That hour will get eaten up by something else, so you do have to fight for it. You have to fight for your time. Get used to the in the habit of writing, and it's not always, you're not always going to produce stuff that makes it into a final cut or that you're proud of, but it's just showing up for it every day. I think makes you have the better chance of something happening if you get something on a page versus if there's nothing on a page.
G van Londen:
But that reflects, I think, your passion, ethan. You really put your heart in the stories. You like this, this is your hobby, and you get inspiration from your daily life, so to say. And I think that also is a pearl of wisdom for the group here, because it may feel like you're doing very little every day, but if you do it every day or every week or whatever your your schedule is, at the end of the year, you've written quite, quite a lot. And whether you are thinking about writing your own book, whether you write your own story for for your family or for the world to read maybe you're nobody, nobody cares, as long as you enjoy writing it and it helps you process things that are stuck in your head and it helps you heal.
G van Londen:
And you may shred it at the end of the year or you may decide wait a minute. This might actually be something I want to use for their own family, because three generations from now, who knows what you're all doing in your life? And I think all our lives are important to be remembered. Finally, because three generations from now, who knows what you're all doing in your life? And and I think all our lives are important to be remembered ethan has. His third book is coming out in july, right ethan yes, let's, I have that one.
Ethan Joella:
This is an early copy of it. This is it's coming out july 2nd. I'm so excited about this because this takes place where I live in rehoboth beach, delaware, and it really I love the way they did. I've had the same person that has done all three covers. I'm so excited about this because this takes place where I live in Rehoboth Beach, delaware, and it really I love the way they did. I have the same person that has done all three covers and I love what she.
Ethan Joella:
She always captures something in the book that I wasn't even thinking of, because they ask you for suggestions. My suggestions are always bad. I mean, she really captures something that I had forgotten about in a book and just really brings it to life that way. But yeah, you, when you talk about just going little by little, the writer, louise airdrick says writers, it's almost like an insect-like devotion to doing it and I always imagine the, the ants kind of crawling slowly with like one crumb on their back and they leave that crumb there. They go and get another one, but it does. I mean, it adds up little by little and you just have to care about it. And it has to be something you love too, because for a lot of time you might be doing it in in silence and doing it without anybody seeing it, so it has to be something that that fulfills you in some way and that that you feel like you're getting somewhere with it.
G van Londen:
What is the book about, ethan? Can you give a little bit away, or you can't tell us anything yet. The next book, the third one, yes, yeah.
Ethan Joella:
So this is actually and this is the first time I've done a singular character book, because A Little Hope had 12 characters and then A Quiet Life had three and A Quiet Life I thought I was just going to do a one-character book, but it just got to be just one man alone in his house in Pennsylvania, kind of ruminating. I thought I need some other characters and some more action in here. So that had three. But then the St Bright Stars just has one character and it's a man in his 50s who has had his family restaurant.
Ethan Joella:
It's been in the family for three generations and he wakes up one day and he decides he thinks he's going to sell the restaurant to a company that's been buying up all the local restaurants and he's really relieved about his decision because the restaurant has kind of taken everything from him. Especially in the summers it's just grueling and he's had no time to have a relationship or no time for a life. But he also starts to feel this loss about leaving his crew behind who have become kind of his family. So he wrestles with that decision Should he sell or should he stay? Should he kind of stay the course that hasn't been giving him any kind of long-term satisfaction. Once he bought a beach chair and his goal was to just one day in the summer just sit on that beach chair and take it all in and enjoy the beach, and he never got to use it. The chair's been hanging in his closet. So that's his trying to make that decision, and some things come up from his past that influenced the decision as well. So that's your teaser.
G van Londen:
Are you coming to Pittsburgh for this?
Ethan Joella:
I would love to. We haven't talked about where I'm going to go, but it's usually pretty. It's usually pretty East coast and regional, so I would love to come to. I love Pittsburgh and I my favorite thing about Pittsburgh is what are the? The Eaton Park restaurant. My wife and children are are dying to come to Pittsburgh just to see the Mr Rogers museum and the Eaton Park restaurant. Rogers Museum and the Eaton Park restaurant because I hyped up the Eaton Park restaurant so much, because we don't have them here, we don't have them in Eastern Pennsylvania, we don't have them anywhere in Delaware, maryland. Little pleasures in life, right? Yes, yes.
Ethan Joella:
I would love to Riverstone and White Whale and Penguin Books. They were all so, so nice when I was there so I would love to come again.
G van Londen:
Thank you, we like to end on time. If there's no more questions, I would like to give it to to Ethan, to to spotlight on him one more time. If there's anything else you would like to share, Ethan, before we close off the evening.
Ethan Joella:
No well, thank you. Thank you all for having me on and it's been nice discussing this with all of you. Thank you especially to Dr Van London for inviting me and for Jen, but thank you to all of you who attended and I wish you nothing but all good things.